Look Up Princess, Your Crown is Falling #DatingDonts

 

 

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Team Too Much!

It would be robbery to not share this dream with all of the single ladies out there! I believe God gave me this dream right on time as it spoke to my heart in due season. I believe so many of us single ladies fall victim to “doing too much” when it comes to dating and relationships, that we can definitely use a gentle reminder to get back in our rightful place as a lady. God definitely checked me with this dream!

First, let me share a little background information with you all. I was recently in a dating situation with what appeared to be the “best” man on paper. He is educated, he’s a Christian (double check, right girls? Lol), he’s attractive, humorous, adventurous, well-rounded, and a gentleman. Things were progressing well and I found that I didn’t have to do anything. I mean, he called me everyday and even sent funny text messages to help me get through the work day! Can’t get any better than that, right?! Lol! I mean, things were going great and I didn’t have a complaint on my lips!

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All of a sudden, the calls diminished, the funny text messages stopped rolling in, and I found myself doing all of the work. I thought maybe I would reciprocate the attention he gave me in the beginning, but I quickly realized that it was no longer being reciprocated. I sent text messages and received no response. I called and we talked briefly, but maybe a few times a week; not to mention, the conversation didn’t have the same zest it did before. I was beginning to think the friendship was coming to an end as he was showing symptoms of He’s Just Not That Into You Syndrome. Nonetheless, I continued to call and text, but also began to seriously pray about the situation. I was totally confused and desperate to know why the sudden change. He couldn’t provide me with legitimate answers, so again, I went to God and asked for Him to show me. Not. A. Word. I even asked God several times for a dream to help clarify everything…nothing. Then after I made up in my heart and mind to leave well enough alone, God gave me a dream!! It solidified everything for me. It was exactly what I needed to hear to get back on track and to experience the peace I had been lacking for two weeks straight.

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In my dream, this young man (the guy I was dating) and I went to an event and came back from the event to relax in a cabin. (Not sure why we were in a cabin, but roll with it…I promise there’s a lesson in this! Lol!) The young man quickly realized that he left something at the event location and probably needed to get it. I volunteered to go get the item while he just relaxed on the sofa. He proceeded to lie down as I went outside to begin my journey to retrieve his misplaced possession. For whatever reason, we did not have a car so I took my bike that was sitting outside for a spin. After hopping on the bike, I realized that there were long tassels with weights hanging on my shoulders weighing me down, but I kept riding. After a few minutes, the weights and trying to ride the bike at the same time became too much for me. I stopped in the middle of the road and said, “I cannot continue to do this! I cannot do this! These weights are too heavy and why am I going to get HIS things?! I am doing too much and I’m doing all of the work!” I pulled all of the weights off and that was the end of the dream.

I believe there are a few lessons in this dream. The young man lying down on the sofa symbolizes how many men go about their business relaxing, having fun, and living a carefree life while we over analyze and complicate things.  The fact that I volunteered to go get his prized possession from the beginning illustrates my character in reality. I enjoy doing acts of service and making people feel good, but there’s a time and place for that. I should have never opted for a job that should be his. The fact that he let me go says a lot too.If his possessions, his “good thing”, his belongings meant so much, he should have went after them himself. It shows that maybe there wasn’t much value in the object he left behind. Ladies, that’s another blog post for another day, but let me just say this…men are hunters and they chase what they find appealing.
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I believe the weights hanging on my shoulders exemplify the burdens I carried for two weeks regarding this issue. I had been crying, confused, upset at work, and holding in so many emotions that I didn’t know what to do with. In the dream, I think removing the weights symbolized the realization that in real life I don’t have to carry those burdens because God never created me for that purpose. 1 Peter 5:7 in the Amplified version says, “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” I believe my words to myself at the end of the dream were most important, “I am doing too much and I am doing all of the work!” I was beginning to do too much in the friendship. I was calling and texting and exerting way too much energy. I stepped out of position as a lady. We are to be pursued, period. I don’t believe that it’s a bad idea to be a friend and call from time to time, but it is certainly not my place to reach out when it’s apparent the person doesn’t want to be bothered.

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Ladies, do not compromise your place as a lady who deserves to be pursued. If he’s not pursuing you and cannot provide you with a legitimate answer, then keep moving forward. If his words do not line up with his actions, take a mental note, charge it to his character, and MOVE ON! When he recognizes your worth, which you are already sure of, he’ll call back. If he doesn’t, he didn’t need to be in your life. The best thing in life is the power of choice. We get to choose who we allow in our circle and what we allow in our head space. There are choices to be made about everything in life. One thing’s for sure, always make a choice to reverence God, serve Him daily, seek Him daily, and NEVER compromise your standards. Hold your rightful place as a classy, virtuous, worthy, holy, and righteous lady…and remember, keep your crown up! :)

 

1-Mollie

ellescoop

8 Comments

  1. Mollie, I absolutely loved and needed to hear this! I had to read it twice. Thank you for this

  2. What kind of questions are you asking someone who isnt reaponding to your text messages? “If he can’t give you a legitimate answer…?” What would you call legitimate? How long was this “situation?”

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